Risk

It's been awhile since I last wrote. I was having troubles finding inspiration in recent weeks but I have found something that I truly believe in but can be very hard to fully follow at times.

"To Risk"

by William Arthur Ward

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.

Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.




I take many risks in my profession. Risks in terms of what materials to teach and how to teach them, risks when it comes to assigning projects that the students may or may not like, or even recipes that may not appeal to anyone in my Foods classes. I take these risks as a way to challenge myself and keep myself interested in my line of work. 


Many risks end up in failure. I made Cream of Chicken Soup with my Foods 20 students and it wasn't a personal favorite for many, including teachers who sampled. I little risk as it was, I still vowed to find another recipe that will suit the needs of all as well as cover the curriculum. The next cooking class, I whipped out a chow mein and it was extremely successful. 


These examples are miniscule compared to the life risks that we all take. Risking friendships, love, personal standing in a community of people are things that often plague me as I sit on my couch looking at my beautiful red and orange leaved tree, contemplating making the "right" choices. 

I had a very in dept "philosophical" conversation with a good guy friend of mine about letting go, loosing up, and trusting. 


Trust.

A word that is full of meaning and a major risk. I trust women a lot more than men. My friend picked up on that quite quickly. I can pick up on whether or not my gal friends are telling me the truth and if they will keep my personal feelings and observations quiet. I know which women not to trust with a sensitive topic. I know which women gossip in a bad way. 


Men are so hard to read. And really, shouldn't it be quite the opposite? Women are the multi-layered ones! Yet, I find myself asking my best guy friend "You will keep this a secret, won't you?" I have had ex's and guy friends telling me I have trust issues due to one liners like that one. I should mention that this distrust does not come from a background or history of a bad family life. I really am not sure why I've stopped trusting men other than past failed relationships.


And so, my quest continues; to take a "risk" and trust men more. Period.

"To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self."

My aforementioned guy friend says I need to be myself more and stop pretending to be like the person I'm trying to please. It apparently gets me nowhere, go figure. Not that my personality changes completely when I'm around a person I'm interested in; however, I try too hard to like everything he likes and sometimes, like in my last relationship, I forget to do the things I love doing. Hence why I became so utterly depressed and bitter. To expose myself the way I am is a huge risk for me. I do it only in front of my closest friends (and family of course) who I know don't judge me. My comfort zone. No risk there. 


Maybe I should try being more myself around everyone and not give a damn what they think. Easier said than done.

"To love is to risk not being loved in return" 




The story of my life. More often than not, the men that I secretly begin to admire and look up to never seem to notice me the same way. Such is the way it goes, I know, but that is the risk we take, don't we.


When I was in my late teens and early 20s and I fell for a guy, if it was strong enough, I'd cave and write him a letter. I took the risk of rejection. It wasn't a mushy letter, but more so a letter stating that he was a fantastic guy to be with and that I had feelings for him. Words never came easily to my mouth but writing always has (Hence why I started a blog). Every single time, I was rejected, but I never felt bad. In fact, I felt better when I gave the guy the letter. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.


I haven't written to men I liked in a very long time. I'm not even sure it would be appropriate anymore, especially since in my age bracket, men might be in very committed relationships (without me knowing). 


"He may avoid suffering and sorrow [by not risking],
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live."


Which I have every time. I may have felt like I couldn't love anymore, but I don't regret dating. I grew incredibly as a person and learned many aspects of my personality.

Life is full of hope and that hope always finds a way back into my heart. My guy friend told me to take his advice to heart and I will albeit in baby steps. It isn't easy to change negative aspects of a personality.


Old habits die hard.


And love is the biggest risk in life.

Paul Brandt- Risk

(Listen to the lyrics, this is the way I want to live my life)

A Grobanite?

Have you ever gone to a concert that brought out every emotion, made you think of where you stand in life, the decisions you've made, and your ever plunging love life? Yet, you leave the concert feeling elated, hopeful, and in a dream like state?

I am a dreamer through and through. I might have mentioned this in my first blog. I started blogging because of my helpless romantic dreamer state. Here is another reason why the world is filled with tickling tinges of excitement and hope.

Music has been a part of me since I was born. My Grandmother is a music teacher (piano) and she conducted a choir for over 35 years. My Great-Aunt was an opera singer. My aunt was in the music business for 10 years in her 20's. So there isn't any doubt that I would come to love singing and piano.






When a piece of music is played that reminds me of my upbringing, my Grandmother, and can connect me to my deepest feelings, I am transported to another realm. To my safe haven. My utopia.

Many artists sing and write music well. However, there is one man that transforms a room he is in by his humor, wit, and let's not forget, his voice. And this is the man.

Now, this man here, his name stated in one of my pictures, has some great sounding pipes! Each time a note floats out of his voice box and into my ears, I'm transcending time and space. His God given talent is undeniable! Not only does he truly have a great baritone (at times tenor) voice, his lyrics are meaningful. It is too often that I hear lyrics on today's top 40 talking about sex, grinding, one night stands, and women given fame and fortune if they give it to their rich men. There is no inspiration there.

Josh on the other hand, is poetic and chivalrous with his music, something that has, on the whole, died when the '60's generation came to be. His lyrics reflect how hard it is to find love or the pain a person goes through when love is lost or let go. He sings about a city he feels connected to and explains to us why he moved there, through his song. He wrote a song about people that are close to you and will always support you especially when you take a step back in life and feel like there isn't anyone to turn to. There are a couple of songs from different albums that relay the life of a soldier and the aftermath of being in the service, a truly sad song. He even sneaks in optimism by re-iterating that hope is found in a "higher window", and we just need to make the decision to embrace it.

"If I Walk Away" by Josh Groban

You can tell the man has experienced much love and heartbreak in his time. A man cannot sing so passionately if he has not experienced a bit of what he sings nor write the lyrics to those songs.

To top of the cake with icing, he even sings in other languages, mostly Italian, Spanish, and Portuguese. The romantic languages that just roll off the tongue. A helpless romantic really is taken to another world.

Josh also isn't afraid to evolve with his music. He isn't stuck to the same genre each time he produces a new album. If you listen to songs from each of his albums, there is a different spin in the types of songs he sings. One album had a couple of South African songs while his latest album was produced by Rick Rubin, a man who produced the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The sound of that album is very different than his past albums. You really can't put Josh in a single genre because he's in many. He really isn't in the business for self glory but instead, to inspire and keep himself challenged throughout his career.

Hardworking and passionate. My kind of a man!

"Love Only Knows" by Josh Groban

One of my favorite songs off his newest album

Lastly, I'd like to end this post by saying that there aren't too many singers nowadays, that can write their own music, sing without autotune, play the drums so well, act appropriately in public (eg. interviews, when addressing the paparazzi e.t.c), love and trust his fans to the point where he sings and meets them in the audience during a concert, has suitable fashion for different kinds of events (look above, his photos relay a great taste in fashion!), have a foundation that promotes the arts, stand up in front of Congress to petition more spending for arts programs across the country, and is exceedingly dreamy good looking individual all around (among many other features I cannot think of at the moment).

Even though I joke about Josh being my Plan C for a husband, realistically speaking, if I can find a man who is this passionate and involved with his work and truly loves the people he serves and those who are close in his life, I'd be a happy woman!